Pet Peeves #21 (originally posted 4/28/10)

1. People who keep yelling (or 'yelling' by using all caps) that Obama is a communist/socialist.
I'm not an Obama groupie by any stretch and I'm not even a Democrat, but dammit, it's the same message/posting every time, about how Obama is a commie bastard that hates America and we all need to 'wake up'. I AM wide awake, thank you, but what is putting me to sleep are these right-wingnuts that keep whining that same phrase over and over like a prozac-induced mantra. Really? This is the best you guys can do? Just because Obama - like a few other U.S. leaders/candidates before him - wanted to make our healthcare system, which features the best medicine in the world, available to all Americans, he's a communist/socialist? All this weeping and gnashing of teeth at how the Republican plan would have worked better...oh wait - THEY NEVER HAD ONE. Republicans that aren't business-owners and/or rich need to realize that every time it becomes apparent the Republicans do not have a plan, or least one that takes the working class into consideration, they play "The Socialist" card, and y'all fall for it every time. And all that yappin' about how the Democrats are gonna pay in November - okay, fair enough. If they do, hopefully the Republicans will actually have some bright ideas to bring to the table instead of sitting back, bitching and griping at every attempt by the current administration to get this country going again. The Republicans lack of concern for the middle-class of this country is what led to their downfall in the last elections. Maybe this time the Republican voters will hold their candidates to the fire and make sure they have progressive plans that keeps their ideals while improving the lives of their working class supporters instead of just the wealthy. If that happened, I could get behind them for the first time in awhile. Guys, really, STFU already, and get a plan! GET A PLAN.

2. Ode to the guy who wore shorts through 90% of the Winter.
I'll never understand why it's such a fashion faux-pas to wear white after Labor Day but okay for people to walk around in Bermuda shorts until first snow. There is one dude at work that was STILL wearing shorts, t-shirts and mandals into DECEMBER. Seriously. Maybe he found it hard to let go of the summer, but he finally got over it, and put on some pants. Which was a good thing since I've had to look at his hairy legs a lot longer than I would have liked. You way-into-the-Winter-shorts wearing mofos may think you look cool and casual, but all I can think of when I see you is that you have got to be a coupla fries short of a happy meal to be so underdressed while everyone else had already busted out their gloves and hats.

3. "One-Hit Wonder" artists who are resentful of their one big hit.
As a musician who has never had a "hit" song (yet...?), I don't understand these musicians who have had one big hit and then get mad that they have to play it every time they hit the stage possibly until they physically can't perform anymore. Believe me, there are songs that I have played in bands and no matter how much I loved the song at one point, I grew tired of playing it AND hearing it. So song fatigue in itself isn't my peeve - I totally get that. But, what I DON'T get are these folks who had a song that was so huge it allowed them to, at worst, be musicians for a living, or at best will feed their progeny until the earth implodes (I don't think the descendants of the person who wrote "Monster Mash" have a problem with those royalty checks every year especially around Halloween). In particular, we have Jani Lane who is so sick of being Mr. "Cherry Pie" and that guy from A Flock of Seagulls who said. "All everyone wants to hear is 'I Ran'. That's all they want to hear and frankly, I'm sick of it." Then they show him performing a show with his face balled up while people dance, happy to hear a familiar song that held a place in time for them. But what are these guys doing thanks to the notoriety of their one hit? Pretty much whatever the hell they want. I especially love the Flock guy, who runs his own business (I'm sure launched with "I Ran" money) and they show him on a boat with a woman, reportedly his wife, who was totally out of his league. The kind of woman that would never have looked at him twice, and if she did, laughed and pointed. But its amazing how a fugly old guy gets better-looking when four checks are year are showing up in the mailbox AND he's a business owner, AND he gets paid to do 80's Revival gigs (and you know he asks for extra so he can slog his way through the one song that put him where he is today). C'mon, dude, suck it up! Some one-hit wonder artists are cool about their one shot at immortality. The lead singer of Pretty Poison (remember "Catch Me I'm Falling"?) said it was better to be a one-hit wonder than a no-hit wonder. She enjoys her time onstage when they get the occasional revival gig, and the fact people still give a shit about her band and the one song that put them on the musical map. Bottom line: With so much competition, heartbreak and unfairness in the music business, anyone who at least makes the charts once in their lifetime should be eternally grateful, not bitter because no one cares about the rest of their songs. That one song possibly changed their quality of life forever, and gave them an opportunity - no matter how fleeting or stunted - to capture the fickle public's attention long enough to make their dreams come true. Some gratitude would be classy, at least out of respect for those of us who still await our shot at the brass ring.

4. Heffas who sleep with married celebrities.
First off, they're married - you're already wrong. Tiger, honey, good thing that you're rich, 'cos you ain't smooth. Plus, dude - 98% of those chicks you messed around with were FUGLY - seriously, at least bang someone hotter than your wife! As far as all the women that slept with him, they missed the memo. If you're the 3rd, 4th or 5th wench to hop between the sheets with a famous married person, you're not going to get a lot of money crawling out from under your rock to admit as much to the public. If you're not the first to drop the bomb, you're just the naked chick that showed up to the porno set after the money shot. Nobody cares...but you're still a slut. Congratulations! Speaking of Bomb(shell) there's the whole brouhaha about Jesse James and his side-dish Michelle "Bombshell" McGee. Most of the Internet is now having a field day with her "Nazi" photo shoot, but they didn't need to bust those out for me to question her character. She says she went public because Jesse lied to her about he and Sandra Bullock being "separated" and she was angry. I say "BS". She wanted to bang Jesse James and I bet ya a dollar to a donut it would not have made a difference to her if he was married or not. Star fuckers do not care about marital status, it was just an excuse to ruin his life because her goodies weren't good enough for him to leave his pretty, famous and rich wife. Sure, it's his fault that he couldn't keep it in his pants, but ratting him out while simultaneously admitting to taking it out of his pants doesn't make her a heroine - it just makes her another bitter chick tapped by a celebrity that never had a shot a being his wifey and now everyone involved has to pay. And hey, this was her chance to get the fame she wouldn't have had otherwise, and she's getting her 15 minutes. Unfortunately, something as low down as that will get you 15 minutes - sometimes 20 - in entertainment these days. Now the SWoMSFH (Second Wave of Married Star Fucking Heffas) are coming out of the woodwork, but again, ya'll are late to the party, and a foursome being 'shocking' is soooo 1990's. Unless your Jesse story involved ball-gags, a hamster, a couple of midgets, a wayward chicken and some peanut butter all wrapped up in a Nazi flag no one is going to care except dudes on MySpace that want to friend you and you don't wanna fuck. Hope that bump in your friend count is all you hoped it would be!

5. C'MON, people, BCC or remove old email addys when forwarding!!
I periodically have to put this in a Pet Peeve because people apparently aren't being exposed enough to it. Fer shit's sake people, when you're forwarding an email to someone, PLEASE delete ALL prior email addresses that the email was sent to. It takes two seconds to highlight and delete when you're forwarding something. If this is too much of a hassle, then don't forward. Period. Why is this so important? Three really good reasons: 1) Many people read their email via cell phones, and having to scroll through 400 prior email addresses before I even get to the message IS ANNOYING and will give your Crackberry friends a thumb cramp. Also, keep in mind folks are possibly being charged by the KB, and you've just ate up a shitload amount of their available monthly data. RUDE. 2) I don't want my email address floating around strangers (and I love it when these emails also display your full name AND sometimes where you work. Now I have a bunch of people I don't know who now have more personal info than they need to have about me. Thanks! 3) Forwarded emails generate SPAM. Where do you think spam comes from? UNPROTECTED EMAIL ADDRESSES. Inevitably, someone in that email chain is collecting and making a buck off of all the email addys in these forwarded emails. So when you don't BCC or delete prior email addys, you are helping to perpetuate spam. Nice. Yes, I love receiving the jokes and inspirational stuff you send. But if you don't think enough of me to protect an email address I gave to you in confidence, then please leave me out of your email circle altogether.