Pet Peeves #20 (originally posted 9/15/09)

1. People who fancy-up common names...then get mad when you don't say it their way.
No, my name is not common and nine times out of ten people are going to say it wrong. I've learned to live with it - it's not their fault my name isn't Lisa. While my name is not common, there are some common names that have a standard pronunciation and some people just have to get all prissy with it, then get all pissy when you get it wrong. For example: The name Alicia. Pronounced AH-lee-sha. Standard. Alicia Silverstone would get all testy when they didn't call her ah-LEE-SEE-ah. Oh, poo poo. Recently I got a file and the contact name on it was Diane. So, of course, I call up and ask for Diane, standard pronunciation. Before I could even finish saying it she jumped all over me - "EXCUSE ME it's pronounced 'DEE-ahn' (like Dionne - and like I was supposed to know this). I could picture her sticking her nose up in the air as she corrected me. Really? Can we say, 'off to a bad start'? Maybe she pictures herself as some sort of big deal. Hopefully she can picture me rolling my eyes.

2. Musicians with WAY too high of an opinion of themselves.
I'll try and keep this short because I could go all day with this one. Over the years I have met some incredible musicians who are also wonderful people, but I have also had the displeasure of dealing with jerks who think that stinky feces, putting their pants on one leg at a time, and treating people with respect is something lesser people have to do. Let's get it in perspective people, right the fuck right now. Unless you are playing the Garden, The Coliseum, The Beacon or places like Nokia or Blender, you are NOBODY. Unless you been featured on WonderWall, or appeared at least once on Hilton Perez's website, or are mentioned on TMZ, you are NOBODY. Unless your face is in Rolling Stone, Revolver, hell, even Hit Parader, you are NOBODY. Okay? I include myself in that. If you ARE playing bars, small local venues and weddings you may be very good, even great and sadly undiscovered, but you ARE NOT A ROCK STAR SO PLEASE LEAVE THAT DIVA/DIVO SHIT AT HOME IN FRONT OF YOUR MIRROR. I'm all for not taking any crap from a mean bar owner, cranky bartenders and making sure you're paid as agreed, but there is difference between making sure you get treated respectfully and just being a flat-out pompous my-shit-don't-stink-so-you-best-kiss-my-ass self-important DOUCHEBAG who thinks that every time they walk into a venue with a guitar it's everyone's cue to suck up to you like you're the fifth fucking Beatle. Newsflash: YOU'RE NOT. Again: YOU. ARE. NOT. Every promoter that books you could easily book someone else. Every place you play may not be all that impressed with you. Every artist you play with in your scene are your peers. So lose the attitude, because even though nice guys may finish last, I bet they get more - and better - gigs than you because they don't show up at a small local bar with a rider, treat everyone there like servants, and don't whine about every little thing. GET OVER YOURSELF. Got it? Good :)

3. Make the fucking commitment!
Nothing drives me up a damn tree faster than a bear with a stick of dynamite up its ass than people who can't make a commitment or make up their mind about things that aren't complex. They hem and haw, procrastinate with no respect for the time and schedule of others. I swear, I would rather have someone be completely honest with me and say that I'm a low priority and last resort when their other options run out, rather than waste my time when I could have asked someone else or planned something else. If I thought enough of you to approach you about something time-sensitive, then think enough of me to let me move onto my other options so I don't get screwed or lose out on something else. It's about respect, people!

4. That MySpace 'Pop out' IM doohickey at the bottom right of the screen.
That is even more annoying than that dumb ad with the bouncing chick in pink with the golf club. STOP. IT. NOW. Stop slowing me up with that annoying ass thing that looks like a blue mosquito every time I scroll down! If I wanna IM someone, I'll do it, dammit!'

5. Folks who get mad at others for not hanging out on the Internet on their terms.
There are some folks out there that get a bit of a 'tude when people have to either cut back on their Internet time or just don't have time to read and respond to every blog or mess with those app doohickeys. Please understand that I would love nothing more than to hang out and Internet-socialize as much as I used to, post more blogs and maybe even learn to play Mafia Wars. But right now I work two friggin' jobs. Two. I'm sorry that right now I can only put up a couple of bulletins, do an email or two and then have to bail. I'm sure you would rather get a thoughtful reply to your stuff when I do get a chance to really read it, than just a one-sentence robotic response just so it's there. That's superficial. One things slow down I'll be back on point. Hell, I've been drafting this Pet Peeves since JULY LOL...Cut me a break!

6. Snarky-ass kids.
Many linguists have opined about the death of the English language. There was a time when if we wanted to get a glimpse into what was going through the mind of a soldier or a politician or just a regular civilian all we had to do was look at old letters and journals featuring proper English and a lot of it was damn-near poetic. Now, nobody handwrites anything, but our dictionaries now sports terms such as 'bootylicious' and 'pornfolio'. IMs and texts have reduced the need to know how to spell or put a sentence together, and by default if we can't express it in a certain amount of characters or less, we're outta luck. Now, I'm afraid this abbreviated sense of communication has filtered down to the younger generation. They seem to have lost the ability to verbally communicate, not only with any sort of feeling or expression but also with a scant amount of respect. Since they no longer seem to know or care about how to address someone, many communicate as if they are giving orders to a small animal, and also with an air of snottiness that is truly uncalled for. Is it just me? Am I just getting old? Or is it because someone has passed a certain age they are no longer deserving of being treated with any sort of respect by brats barely old enough to drink? I really feel that future generations will only be able to communicate in person with grunting and pointing. Hopefully, I'll be dead by then.