Pet Peeves #18 (originally posted 3/18/09)

1. Ex Bandmate Drama
I don't care what band situation has you fighting with each other or how pissed you are at each other. There is absolutely no reason to sink lower than an ant's ass in a public forum and bring up very personal shit (and mention people who have ZERO to do with the situation) in view for others to speculate about. I very recently saw a back-and-forth between former bandmates, and while one was trying to be civil about it, the other one was definitely not, saying all kinds of mean, horrible things that had nothing to do with the matter at hand. The lack of class that person put on display was absolutely uncalled for, and I have lost ALL respect for that individual. ALL. There is a certain amount of respect that is owed to anyone you have a history with, and unless they beat you or did something so egregious it's unforgivable, there is duty to show discretion and restraint when it's apparent outsiders are going to hear or read about it. That was not the case here. As far as this person is concerned: Honey, this situation and two others I've heard about you make me sick, has given me some keen insight that I have taken to heart. You are a jackass, you are unreasonable and quite possibly insane. Actually, it was probably great that you posted what you did so others can see your true colors. This way, they have fair warning about what to expect when involved in any kind of relationship with you that isn't on your terms. Keep at it sunshine!

2. Reality Show music groups
I don't know why people endure these reality programs where pop groups are thrown together and then collapse soon after. OF COURSE it didn't work out! As anyone with any "group" type experience or, hell, with ANY kind of real life experience should know, a successful unit involves teamwork, and a good team, whether it's a office department or a band requires getting together, building an understanding of each other, and before a result is achieved (i.e. a successful product launch or a good CD) tinkering with the team until you get it right while building that widget or that signature sound. When you have a 4-5 people who are forced to work together without any prior relationship, communication, and without a true grasp of each other's strengths, weaknesses and capabilities there WILL be a breakdown very quickly at some very inconvenient point. Since these mostly immature youngsters have not built anything together, more than likely will not create anything together, and have no loyalty to each other, it is easy for members to get up and walk away because they have invested NOTHING into its success and therefore have nothing to lose. Period. I watched a few minutes of "Making the Band", and (aside from the fact that they are actually singing groups, NOT bands) I had to laugh at Diddy telling the two remaining girls from Danity Kane that they "needed to work it out" with the two girls he didn't fire. Hmmm. They didn't slap the group together for the sake of a buck, he did. They didn't choose their band mates, he did. They didn't choose their material, he did. They didn't have the time to assess each other's mentality and goals, so he should have for the sake of his product. He did due diligence to make sure he had a team together that could work well and efficiently in his office and on the show, but apparently that due diligence doesn't transcend to the music groups he coughs up for public consumption. Stuff likes this further dumbs down the music industry and trivializes what should make music electric - integrity and chemistry.

3. People who drive on the shoulder/hash when there's traffic.
You ASSHOLES. Yeah, you who acts as though no one's schedule matters except yours and you should be allowed to drive on the shoulder and dive in and out of traffic, cutting off people who are at their wits end because of the slowdown. You know, because everyone just LOVES to sit in traffic. You are not special, and unless your baby mama is about to give birth or your ass is on fire, merge like you're supposed to and keep your ass in a lane. It gives me great pleasure when a cop sits on the side, waiting for dicks like you to come speeding along the shoulder like it's an HOV lane and you try to squeeze your way back in. That's right - I won't let you in. Act like you want to hit me if you want to - you won't. You have a shiny new truck or car which is probably why you have such a shitty sense of entitlement. Me - I have a 2003 Volkswagen and I don't give a fuck. Try explaining to Mr. Officer you hit my car trying to dodge his ass on the hash. That'll go over real well. Call me what you want, but if I gotta sit and creep along at 5mph for 20 minutes because people gotta watch some noob get a ticket, you will too if I can help it, dammit!

4. Stupid Voice Mail
I'm not a fan of voice mail recordings as it is. You know, the ones where you have to press a button after leaving your message (stupid); the ones that say leave a message after the tone then rambles on for another minute before giving you the tone so you can get it the FUCK over with already (annoying), etc. But I heard one today that takes the cake and made me wanna throw my phone out of the window. I had to leave a detailed and very important message for a client and got his voice mail. I finally got to leave a message after about two minutes of Stupid Robotic Voice Message Lady rambling on. When leaving my voice message, I identified myself and took one breath...and was cut off by Stupid Robotic Voice Message Lady who says - and I shit you not - "you took a pause in your message. If you would like send this message as urgent, press one. If you would like make your message private, press two..." the option to re-record the message was OPTION SEVEN. Are we kidding? This happens THREE TIMES no matter how hard I try to run my sentences together. Now, I'm already pissed that the idiot client didn't send what he was supposed to and I'm wasting time even making this call, so now I'm ready to bite a nail in half. Want my help with your situation buddy? Well, we're already off to a bad start!