Pet Peeves #6 - (Originally posted 8/15/08)

1. Blender needs to get off Lil Wayne's Dick.
Seriously. Every issue they are kising his ass so hard their cheeks must have cramps. Then they finally had him on the cover. Not that it matters - they mention him so much in each issue they may as well call themselves "Lil' Wayne Monthly". I can tolerate their consistent snubbing of Metal and I generally think it's a fun music mag to read, but c'mon already. Yes, he's interesting. Yes, he is rather inventive. I GET IT. MOVE ON TO ANOTHER ARTIST ALREADY THANK YOU.

2. Folks, it's a buffet. Get over yourselves!
I was at a good Buffet recently. As with most buffets, you don't know how something is going to taste until you've got it on your plate. Sometimes it's good, sometimes...not so much.

Well, this dude decided quite loudly that of the 4 meats that were laid out for his gastronomic delight (and he did have all 4 on his plates), he felt that the pork loin was too dry for his liking and he was going to report it to the Chef.
Are we kidding?

IT'S A BUFFET ASSHOLE. If the pork loin didn't suit your obviously too-cultured-to-be-in-a-buffet-with-the-commoners palate, you put it aside and pick something else. Apparently he wasn't kidding; he called the manager who brought out the chef and Mr. Pork Loin leaned back in chair with his legs crossed advising the chef of his displeasure as though he was at Tavern on the Green and he just paid $50 for his plate. He paid $15.99. No, in fact, he probably didn't since this was at a casino and he probably got it comped! Ya self-important douche, ya.

3.Forwarding emails without using BCC!!!
I love receiving emails because that means someone thought enough of me to send me something, and my friends and family send me some great stuff. What I DON'T love are when I get emails that have all of the previous receivers' email addresses. I can't say it enough, people, it takes 2 seconds to remove those addresses and save the people you love from being abused by spammers. How do you think spammers get those names? EMAILS THAT HAVE BEEN FORWARDED ALL OVER TARNATION WITHOUT THE PREVIOUS ADDRESSES REMOVED! When you forward something, just erase everything non-essential to the email you are sending. Highlight and delete. That's it. This is important, especially at work. Believe me, I am just as happy to not have my name culled by another spammer as I am to get a great joke from you, and I'm sure you feel the same :)

4. Band contests that make people register to vote for their favorite band.
Unless you really haven't been paying attention, you know I'm in a band. Being in an active band means many contests that require votes, and to make it more daunting, your fans have to register to yet another website they'll more than likely never visit again. Worse still, some require your fans to vote daily. We did it for the Warped Tour thing and we're grateful to everyone who signed up and voted for us, but we hate tormenting our fans this way, and at the end of the day it's never the most talented bands that win, just the ones that aggravated every person they've ever met to constantly vote. What happened to the days of companies actually listening to band submissions and going with the ones who actually possess talent instead of just trying to bulk up their email lists and make others do the work for them? I'm jus' sayin'...

5. Kabillion-dollar celebrity baby pics.
It boggles my mind why the common man is so obsessed about getting "first look" at a celebrity's baby that there is a market to offer a celebrity who is already making more money than they ever should be able to spend MILLIONS of dollars for pics of the infant. (Damn, that was a long sentence! Steven, don't yell at me for that LOL). MILLIONS of dollars for a look at a celebrity's baby that looks like...a wrinkled newborn baby that looks like anybody else's wrinkled newborn baby. At least Angelina and Brad are donating the ridiculous sum offered, but what about the rest of them? MILLIONS of dollars that could be used for something of practical use and meaning wasted on a shot of a newborn. Think about that. I wonder if whichever Madden brother urped Nicole Richie (who are both rich) donated some of that tabloid money to Save the Music or to AIDS or to Cancer research, etc. Oh wait, I guess poor slobs like me are supposed to do that...and spend $3 to buy the mageazine with your ankle-biter's pics in them. Pathetic.