Pet Peeves #14 - (originally posted 11/10/08)

People who buy 4x4 trucks & slow to a damn-near stop to go over speed bumps.
Seriously? What didja buy the thing for? Newsflash: The whole point of a truck is to easily handle bumpy things. If you're going crawl over speedbumps, you should have bought a Pinto and not cause accidents by stopping your schoolbus-sized SUV short to daintily pop over speedbumps. You are a doofus.

People who can't keep their word.
For the freakin' love, people, don't make promises you can't keep. Don't say you'll take care of something and then don't. Especially when I offered to take care of it or help you do it. Okay? There are people out there that want to take credit for doing something so they can be a martyr or get some kind of extra credit, but when it comes down to actually getting it done, they don't. So instead of looking responsible and capable they look like an ass and now it's a crisis that I end up handling anyway. Thanks for nothing. If you weren't going to do it, Why the fuck did you waste your breath and my time? This is why I hate leaving important tasks for others to do, because I know that no matter how much sleep I lose, how much I sacrifice, if I've made a commitment, I'm going to follow through because someone is counting on me to keep my word. Sadly, others aren't as diligent, and this past week the old adage 'if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself' proved itself once again. People, understand this: If you're not up to a task asked of you by someone, say so. You'll be respected a helluva lot more for being able to admit as much then, than let someone down completely when they counted on you!

People who make simple tasks complicated.
Life is complicated enough. Life throws enough curveballs. You always have to expect the unexpected, especially when it comes to something really important. DO NOT take something that is fool-proof, requires simple common-sense execution and make it any more difficult than it needs to be, okay? Maybe you're a masochist and this is how you have to function in order to have the required self-inflicted chaos in your life, but don't include me and the shit I need to get done in that process. I like having some foresight and getting things done in a orderly, timely fashion with as little bullshit as possible, and I have little patience for those who think there is some sort of miracle alternative. THERE ISN'T. Things may not go as planned, but if you at least HAD a plan and tried sticking to it, it's amazing what additional headaches you will manage to avoid. I don't like being unprepared and end up the one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. Maybe you think that's fun, but it isn't. It's just STUPID. If this is how you function as a rule, let me know early on that your life is sailing along on a wing and a prayer before we plan anything together more complicated than dinner.

People who have a problem with dogs living inside houses with their humans.
I was on this board where a couple of people went on about how dogs only belong outside because of how disgusting they are, how they lick each other, loose hair, etc. etc. what burns my biscuits even more are those people who feel that way...and have small children (the most disgusting, dirt-encrusted, germ-spreading creatures EVER no matter how cute they are) and cats (especially those humans who allow their cats outside). Are we kidding? A cat licks himself too - and all over, I might add - and do I even have to bring up the whole litterbox situation? Ick. Very hypocritical. Sure, dogs may sniff or lick another dog's butt and then want to lick your face to show their submission and affection as their instinct dictates, but here's another newsflash (wow, two newsflashes in one Pet Peeve, go me) you don't have to let them. The other thing that gets my panties in a bunch are the people who go on about how disgusting dogs are because of the whole ass-to-face factor. I just wanna ask - honey, where was YOUR face an hour ago? Wasn't it square up YOUR man's ass during the love gymnastics? And just where did you stick that finger last? Did you wash your hands after that elephant-like dump you just took? Hmmm? I love crusty, nasty humans who think their stink and filth is better than an animal. Loose hair? I've come across people who shed like wild yaks and have their hair all over the place, but apparently, that's okay. Bullshit. As I wrote in response, "I would rather be in a house with a clean, silent, well-behaved pet than be in a house full of disgusting, ill-mannered humans and their kids. Period!" Yup.

Britney.
I was rooting for her to make a comeback. I really was. She's had a tough couple of years and people have had waaay too much fun kicking her while she was down and she had my sympathy. Like many others, I was suckered into watching some of the MTV interview with her and after killing some viable brain cells I have come to the conclusion that she doesn't deserve a comeback. She doesn't. If you take away what made her a star, and took away her beauty and her money she is no different from any other dumb, self-destructive, finger-pointing, low-class trollop who continues to make bad choices but will blame everyone else but herself for her situation. She says she is a smart person, but it's pretty apparent she isn't. I do feel that her level of fame would make anyone a little nuts (e.g. Michael Jackson) and the paparazzi are completely out of control and contributed to the loss of her grip on reality. However it doesn't change the 'stuck-on-stupid' she is. She has the money and resources to be able to handle things better, but she'd rather go shopping and go to Starbucks than try to deal with her issues. She is now blaming her ex for certain things regarding their childrens' upbringing and says they need 'a father figure'. Um, no, they need a mother who isn't an idiot. And P.S. - he has custody, not you, because you lost custody for being unfit, so maybe you should leave that subject alone, okay? No, K-Fed/Fed Ex is no prize, but you got urped by him anyway - twice - right? This is exactly why stupid people should not be allowed to breed no matter how much money they have *coughParisHiltoncough*. Oh, and I loved it when she said people "shave their heads all the time". WHAT? Really? Women adding hair, yes. Shaving their head frequently? Not so much. Good Lawd, what is wrong with this girl? Britney, good luck with the comeback - many talented people never get the chance at all much less a second chance. But until you get a really good shrink and get your shit right, you'll be back in the psych ward drooling and babbling before you finish your next tour, and all of the money, makeup artists, hair extensions and songwriters won't help cushion the fall.