Pet Peeves #13 - (originally posted approx. 11/2/08)

WTF? Why can't famous people have an opinion?
I love it when dumbasses say things like, "So and so is just an actor/musician, why would they think their opinion matters?" It amazes me how retarded people can be. Just because someone acts or otherwise performs in some entertainment medium, they can't have an opinion on anything of significance? Why not? Every person on this planet is entitled to their opinion and can voice it by any means necessary. If I had the ability and the celebrity to champion a cause I felt strongly about and it gets media play, why wouldn't I take advantage of that? There are plenty of people who have dumb opinions who aren't celebrities, so why is their take acceptable? Because no one gives a shit who they are? C'mon. I bring this up because Doc Coyle of the band God Forbid made no bones of his dislike of John McCain. Following a political debate, Doc, in a column he writes, called McCain a racist. This got posted on Blabbermouth.net, eliciting responses from the usual gang of idiots that post under dumb names and probably keep a pee bottle by their computer so they don't have to miss a post the second one goes up. They were ragging Doc, saying he was stupid, and he was a dumb musician and his band sucks so why would anyone care what he thinks, blah blah blah. I love the ones that call him stupid, but then say they were purposely going to vote for McCain just because Doc said not to. That was real intelligent and displays some serious forward-thinking there, lollipop! How old are you? And we wonder why other countries laugh at us.

PULL UP YOUR DAMN PANTS!
Some cities have begun issuing tickets for the asscrack attack known as 'baggin', and I LOVE it! This is a shoutout to those 'baggin' mofuckas who feel that they can't be seen in the street unless their back pockets are warming the backs of their knees. Why is this considered cool? Why hasn't this appalling trend died already? I don't care if you wear boxers or briefs, and not for nothin', I don't care what brand they are. If you are ugly and you have any ugly ass, I wouldn't care if the brand was Versace and the waistband is lined with diamonds. It's called having some class...and buying a belt. Once I saw two baggin' Fred Durst wannabes crossing Woodhaven Blvd. and I took great pleasure in slamming on the gas watching them grabbing their pants up and trying to run (one ended up cleaning the left side of my car with his butt. Awesome). No wonder bigger guys can't find any pants that fit - morons who wear size 34 are buying 40's so we can see their Vertical Coinslot. PULL YOUR DAMN PANTS UP, or I swear, I'm gonna start going on a Wedgie Rampage with a pair of pliers.

Too much cologne!
I like a man that smells good. But guys, really, you don't have to bathe in or drink the stuff in order for it to be effective, okay? I sat behind this guy on the bus the other day and he had on so much cologne it snapped my head back. DUDE! C'MON! He had so much on, it's was literally burning my nostrils from the fumes. This wasn't just a one-day event either, we take the same bus home and he overdoes it with the manperfume EVERY DAY. Look, I'd rather smell a little bit of a hard day's work on a man than be choked by his cologne. If your natural aroma is that bad, homie, then take midday bird bath in the bathroom, k? And if you must put on cologne, seriously - a dab will do ya!

Stupid names
Pete Wentz & Ashlee Simpson welcomed a new baby into the world. The name given to the long-awaited child? Bronx Mowgli. Geez. Of course you have the other dumb names given to celeb children like Pilot Inspektor, Zuma, Brooklyn, Kal-el, Romeo, Apple and Reign Beau. I guess celebs figure since the kid will be set for life and will live in a protective bubble they don't have to worry about what other people think or will treat them. Unlike...

...Stupid Ghetto Names. My people. Seriously. You don't have to name your child Jane Doe but fer shit's sake, what are some of you thinking? I believe it was Chris Rock who once said (and yes, I'm paraphrasing) "Why would you name your kid something like that? At least let the kid get TO the job interview!". With so many White employers coming right out and saying they'd rather hire a White, uneducated ex-con than an educated, never-incarcerated Black man, why would you name your kid Daykwan Marquis or LaQuita Emerald knowing once an employer sees that on a resume, ain't making that call? My least favorite ghetto name ever was bestowed on a football player - D'Brickashaw. WTF is that? WHYWHYWHY? Good thing he was lucky enough to go professional, huh? My new least favorite female name was just found yesterday. Le-a. No, it's not pronounced Leah, Lea or Leeya. It's LEDASHA. That's right, because to quote the mother, "the dash don't be silent".

Jesus H. Christ, make it stop.

My name? No, it didn't top the Popular Girls Name list, but it's been around for centuries. Doesn't make it any less odd, but it ain't DUMB, like a former co-worker who named his child Anquette Mahogany. No, I'm not kidding. Wanna be different? Okay, find an uncommon name that actually exists in a baby name book; stop combining your name and the baby daddy name because it's two times the stupid, stop doing that pseudo-French shit and give anything that starts with "La" and "Da" a rest. I understand that you want your child to be considered special and unique (don't you wanna slap someone who actually names their kid "Unique"?), but it really just screams "low-income-uneducated-minority". If that's what you're going for, then maybe you should set your sights a little higher...at least for the kid's sake.